In these tumultuous times of Brexit, Trump and Kyle Walker being worth more than £50million, it’s somewhat comforting to know that some things never change.
Stop us if you’ve heard this one before, but what follows is a tale of England’s golden generation going out of a tournament to a less-fancied, more organised team, as Steven Gerrard tries too hard to make something happen.
England faced Denmark in the quarter-finals of the Star Sixes tournament at the O2 on Saturday night, with the likes of Michael Owen, Emile Heskey and Paul Merson turning up.
Chris Sorensen opened the scoring when he slotted past David James in the England goal before Daniel Jensen doubled their advantage.
Gerrard pulled one back for the hosts, but Jensen’s second sealed the deal for the Danes, as they gained revenge for their exit to England at the 2002 World Cup.
Elsewhere, Spain thrashed Nigeria 8-1 and Brazil saw off Germany 3-1, with former Arsenal striker Julio Baptista slamming him a piledriver in the process.
France beat Italy in the final match of the evening, with goals from Robert Pires and Bruno Cheyrou helping seal a semi-final place.